JENNIFER J GRAY
CHOICE'S LIFE COACHING LLC
LIFE COACHING+MINDFULLNESS+MEDITATION=LIFE THERAPY
Looking for inspiration to move you forward and focus your life? Or perhaps you need motivation about something important and yet challenging in your life? Or perhaps you're in need of some "life coaching in a nutshell" the tile of my book will be coming soon). Whatever it is here is a small selection of resources that could be a start of that wonderful journey to a more fulfilling,enjoyable and successful life.. Or perhaps it could the of discovering the real you. Just remember, there is plenty of support here available for you! Just in touch with me and I will be there to support you. My promise is that I will make sure that your life is indeed lived to best version of yourself and to the fullest of what GOD, life and the universe (source) can and will give you. Enjoy the reading.
" I do not have confidence, I have low self esteem". This is what a number of my clients tells me. Why is it so? The main problem lies in the rejection or the acceptance of who and what we are. Many of us may have experienced difficult, hard times and we have allowed failure and disappointments, even guilt or missed opportunites to get the best of us. We look at our selves more and more critically. We feel that we are the cause of our problems and reoccurring failures and in some cases we are do the choices that we make. We almost become of ashamed of who and what we are. And the outcome is self-rejection, self criticism, negativity, frustration and ultimately depression..And sadly.. to even more a deeper dression and more failures.
The key to all of this is what I call "self-acceptance". But what exactly is that? Self-acceptance begins when you are still a baby. It starts with the positive or negative influence of your parents, your brothers and sisters, your relatives, neighborhood and your own school mates. Your own level of self acceptance is determined by how well you are accepted by such people in your early life. What you think of your self, is determined of what other people think of you. And your self worth swings as the opinions of others swing from positive to neagative.
That is why the best way to build a strong self-acceptance and self-worth, which in turn will lead to a strong personality, has to start with a journey of self discovery. It starts with finiding out who are, what your feelings arewhat is so special about you and why. But what steps do we need to tke to achieve that? Let's take alook at some of them together. Shall we?
by Alex Tana
" If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you can't
Mary Kay Ash
1. Discover you true self
No journey can start unless you know how you are going to travel. No change in your life can take place unless you know who and what you are.
2. Forget the past
There is no point in brooding over past failures, or missed opportunities, your chances are gone. Histroy and the pass have all gone: The present how ever is before you and the future is all yet to live.
3. Be aware of your feelings
Many people come to the point of "knowing" themselves but fail to progress to the next step which is becoming aware of their personality, their feelings and their attitude.
4. Accepting the person that you are
You need to accept yourself the person that you are with good points and bad points, with strengths and weaknesses. You need to accept yourself as normal human being.
5. List your accomplishments
Think of your skills and the things that you do exceptionally well that account for your success in your profession and your personal life right now. You will be amazed asto how many you will belisting.
6. Think of your future
Think of your future possibilities and the fact that your potential is virtually unlimited. You can do what you want to do, go where you want to go. You can be the person that you want to be.
After a while
Put into action these points and I can assure you that you on are the road to victory.
After a while, you can tell the subtle difference, between holding a hand and changing a soul,
and you will learn that love doesn't mean leaning. And company doesn't mean security.
and you begin to learn that kisses doesn't mean security and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents are promises. And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult and not the grief a child.
and you learn to build all roads on today. Becasue you never know what will happen tommorrow.
After a while you learn that even the sunshine burns if you get too much it. So you
plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waitng for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure. And that you really are strong and that you really have worth and value.
(c) 1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths.
When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."
What have you achieve so far?
what ever of the year it is as you read this it is never to late to review what has happened so far in our life, relationships, careers, businesses, finances, and what ever is important to you. It is time to plan the nect step forward. So let me share some helpful tips here.
1. Review your goals/ New years resolutions
Do you still remember them? Do you still have them pinned somewhere noticeable. Do they need adjusting or twiking in any way? Take time to think about them and refresh them as they will be the basis of actions for the rest of the year.
2. Review Your achievements
What have you actually achieved so far? And what happens as a result of them. And what have you not acheive so far? Why not? What has stopped you? What is still blocking you? And what are you going to do about it?
3. Prepare the strategies to move you on
New year's resolutions (just like goal setting) are used less without some kind of strategy to achieve them. So how can you achieve your next goal(s)? What steps do you need to take next? What resoureces, (people, skills, time, money etc.) do you have already to help you? Who/what are you still lacking? What are you going to do about them?
4. What film are you playing in your life? What stories are you telling yourself?
Ever been in a situation where things around don't seem to go that you you want them to? Or have you had he strange feeling that you are not in the right place? Or have you had the strange feeling that you are not in the right place at the right time or doing the right thing? Or in the right relationship or job? And what about those times that you know that there is more that you can give and yet find it difficult to do so? Ever been there? Well nothing to panic about but certainly much to work on very urgently if your care for your life?
So many times, often with out even realising it we play the wrong film. Perhaps you play someone else's story. You envy the life that they live and imagine how great it would be if you could live a similiar kind of life. Or you keep playing that same old black and white film that you have seen so many times. So how the past keeps coming back. Holding you back and haunting you with memories. As a result you find it difficult to move foward with confidence. Or you play a soap opera full of drama and action with sad endings. Perhaps you life has been a series of disappointments and missed opportunities.
If these words have stired you some as I hope. Then let me ask you a simple question? Isn't it time you play a new film?
5 Simple steps to goal setting
Some of us do not set goals in the belief that it is a waste of time and/or is restricting their opportunties. Actually that is like driving a car without knowing where you are going. " My only answer to that is good luck"
"I hope that you wouldn't be lost or hurt !"
Some of us struggle in setting clear goals. The excuse more or less is plausible is that we really do not know what we really want. What you are actually saying is that you don't what you"ought" as opposed to what you want to do.
Some others may be nurturing goals in their hearts and minds but have no clue how to make it become a reality. Even more they may not know to develop effective strategies needed to pursue them. The fact is if the goal that you have in mind is not clear. What are you going to focus on? And if you are going on by trail and error rather than following clear strategies you well be going to wandering around in a fog... and possible get lost somewhere in the dimensions of time and space.
1. Write a big list of all the goals that you think you should, must or ought to pursue.
The list could enclude personal and business goals. Things such as how to be more successful in your business and/or personal achievements. Or how to intiate/complete a certain project at work or at home. Or how to improve your relationships, your health, your income. Or how to gain more confidence, self-worth and value by becoming more more healthy. Write down anything that comes to mind.
2. Go over the list and make sure that you are clear as to what you mean by them.
Perhaps you need to define them more clearly. Break them down into smaller goals or strategies/steps towards a bigger goal. This where you need to be as clear and as detailed and specific as possible.
3. Time frame your goals
You will to make sure that you have put a time frame against them. In other words, by when would you like to achieve this particular goal? This is very important beacuse a goal with a time frame is just a dream.
4. Think of any obstacle that may prevent you from reaching these goals.
Be very clear as possible what in your mind and knowldege may stop or cause you difficulties on the easy to reaching those goals.
5. Think of who and what may help you achieve those goals.
This is where you will need to refer to your network. To your fellow Black Stars, to enable you to support you and encourage you to turn those goals into reality.
Now the whole purpose of this simple excerise ias to help you identify what you really want to do. And if you are keen to achieve it, if it is exciting, it give you passion, then you surely want to do it. Having done all this relax, take a deep breath and start taking the necessary actions to make sure that goals turn into reality. You can do it and you owe it to your self to be sucessful in all that you do.
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