JENNIFER J GRAY

 CHOICE'S LIFE COACHING LLC

LIFE COACHING+MINDFULLNESS+MEDITATION=LIFE THERAPY

  • How To Practice Self-Care and Self-Compassion

    Self-Care is not as simple as taking a bubble baths, lighting candles, and pampering yourself, it's allowing yourself time to feel the emotions and tell yourself that you're doing great, that who you are today in the now moment is okay, and that all of you is more than enough. Tune into Jennifer's Perspectives to learn the steps to take to develope and practice true Self-Care and Self-Compassion so that you can bring more love and light to your life and shine bright and live your best life.

    KEY TOPICS

    Continuing the conversation on compassion..What is Self-Compassion?

    What does it really mean to have compassion for yourself?

    Often as soon as you say compassion, people think that it is something that you have to bring to people. Seeing myself accurately and accepting myself which is always and unfolding journey. Every time that I think that I know myself, then a year later I look back and realize that I knew nothing.

    One of my favorite lines from the Games of Thrones is quote" You Know Nothing John Snow" Because every year when I think I am getting a clue, a year goes by (past) and I realize you know nothing Jennifer.

    Self-Compassion is not my strong suit. I always strive so much and I want to grow so much, and I want to learn so much, pursuing, God who is my source and creator, wisdom and knowledge. Pausing long enough to reflect. "You're okay, you're okay just as you are, you're doing okay" instead of striving for the next thing to "be okay".

    That's been a part of my addiction for years and I've been working for 15 years now on enjoying the pauses, the breaths, as much as the run, the sprint and as much as the marathon.

    It is still my slick. This journey for me of Self-Compassion is accepting me as I am in this very moment and being totally okay with it and about it, including all of my flaws. But to say that I accept myself, I've got to see myself accurately first.

    So to me Self-Compassion isn't and arrival point it is an ever unfolding moments of learning more about who I am and who I could be and how I am showing up.

    It's not as simple as having baths and lighting candles and meditating. Self-Compassion is I am doing great! Who I am today "is okay" and all of me is more than enough. "I am more than enough".

    So it's not just bath salts and candles and mood lighting.

    What people call Self-Care, It's a much deeper reflection within ourselves. Am I showing up in this moment taking care of me? You know people pleasers, this is for you. People pleasing, is suppressing me, Self-Compassion is expressing me, what I need in this moment.

    Self-Compassion is feeling it, noticing I feel it, acknowledging I feel it, expressing I feel it and then the ultimate is having acknowledge that appropriately and compassionately, that's Self-Compassion.

    Compassion could probably be measured by how people allow you to express and reflet it back to you accurately, respectfully and approriately and fully not just the bits and aspects that they are comfortable with but the bits and aspects of it all.

    Join me next week on Jennifer's Persectives" as we continue our discussion on SELF-COMPASSION and What is self-compassion and What does it mean to have compassion for yourself.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     


  • 13 STEPS TO SELF AWARENESS

     

    13 STEPS TO SELF AWARENESS WORKSHOP

     

    The integration of self-understanding and love of others is a powerful interface. It is a required journey for every human being regardless of occupation, economic status or belief system. Practicing self awareness, leads to consciousness, the proper awareness outside of one’s true self. This dynamic practice empowers it’s practitioners to fully embrace joy and purpose beyond task and obligation. It mitigates painful thoughts and emotions. Being self aware provides a new venue for the mind to free itself from imposed limitations and harnesses the power of dynamic and meaningful connection with others in all facets within one’s life.


     

    1. Self observation and analysis:

    How can your clients, friends and family  understand your motives and ideals if you don’t understand them? Is the real you different from the identity that shows up in the world? Are you really “passionate” about your work, your life? These are just some of the hard hitting, self examined questions that expose our true selves beyond the fears and identities we hold sacred. Only asking ourselves new questions can we explore new possibilities in our lives. Being our own observer from a third person perspective, allows us to step outside of our emotionally reactive selves and gain an unbiased vantage point to uncover the hidden motives of our un- serving behaviors and ask the tough questions.

    2. Understanding the ego.

    The only one true obstacle to our self awareness, consciousness and freedom is the many devices and masks of the ego. Not necessarily the Freudian ego, but the inner opponent that is responsible for our every unconscious word thought or action. The ego convinces us to adopt false ideas, unsubstantiated fears and to operate in conflict with others. We operate in a system of hierarchies, and in this system (in most cases), we become polarized to see others as either less than or greater than ourselves. The constant emotional roller coaster of this philosophy creates active hindrances to our growth and furthers our disconnection with others. For instance, we might be challenged to think that networking with a competitor might be mutually beneficial or we might “rule out” an opportunity because of low self-esteem

    3. Diversity: Embracing others

    One great aspect practicing self awareness is that once the ego has been revealed it is automatically weakened. In its weakened state, one can start to embrace the uniqueness and diversity of all others. The diversity of the once “Other Person’ could not be seen as threatening anymore, but admired and respected. As we take responsibility for our fears that created the aforesaid “Us vs. Them” program, we can freely create relationships, business and new communications without judgmental boundaries, borders or unrealistic criteria. By withdrawing our investment in the ego’s social programming, we can elevate our business practices with new creative methodologies and new contributors.

    4. Parenting  your “inner child”

    Whether you are a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, a world renowned athlete or a Nobel Prize winner, inside every human resides a “little boy or little girl” version of their adult selves. This “inner child” carries all the unresolved issues of low self-esteem, fairness, abandonment and inability to let go of the past to create something better for them. When triggered, this child emerges and exhibits uncomplimentary behaviors that are a by-product from hurt emotions. The inner child, like most children, does not understand “place and time” appropriateness, makes poor decisions and can emerge at the most inopportune times. One of the tools for the practice of self awareness is to learn how to develop a line of communication with this “inner child”. By self observation, one’s “adult self” can learn to effectively become a powerful liaison, comforter and most importantly a parent for their “child self”.

    5. Understanding the drive of conflict.

    The source of all conflict is the concept that we operate in a world of lack and need to fight to pool limited resources (clients, money) to pay for our survival. To survive in this space and remain competitive we must protect our identities as the “The smartest”, “Most competent” or “I am a warrior” etc. When a coworker, client or another figure challenges this identity, the ego will create an internal conflict which usually resonates into the hostel external one. This “us vs. them” mentality can cause emotional disconnection from the world and can be responsible for having to live out our own painful, un-joyous self-fulfilling prophecies of lack and separation.

    6. Fear- the opposite of being present.

    Fear is the belief that an unpleasant event from the past can or will reproduce itself in the future. This event can be something that was experienced personally or exposed to from third person observation or another medium. All fear exists outside of the present moment. It creates a false story about a timeline that isn’t real or happening and is a projection of loss, limitation and lack. By staying present and aware within each moment does annihilate fear and is a major component of emotional mastery and self awareness.

    7. Releasing Attachment to Outcomes

    One of the most liberating components to the practice of self awareness is the releasing oneself from the expectation and anticipation to outcomes. Expectation and anticipation are products of the future in the linear time-line and though it can be influenced by our intentions, it cannot be controlled. How many events and projects have come to fruition exactly as planned? How much emotional energy was carelessly spent on attachment to its outcome? How can anyone create something better than they already know? Getting out of our own way creates a space for something bigger to unfurl. It is through the release of attachment and control that yields a natural more beautiful outcome. It is in this discipline, which I call the “art of allowing”, which liberates us to join with the collective conscious and create more powerful and exciting experiences beyond our own experience limited “inner world”.

    8. Identifying Self Limiting beliefs / Insecurities

    Another device of the ego is the internal dialogue it uses to perpetuate our fears, false beliefs and feelings of inadequacy. It is that little voice that whispers “You’re not good enough”, “You don’t deserve that kind of success.” or “They will think I am imperfect.” This voice of false self-limiting ideations that can only be undone by identifying the neuro-program’s origin, challenging its credibility then redefining it to serve one’s desires and full potential

    9. Forgiveness of Self and others:

    Another powerful technique for self awareness is forgiveness. What are we judging about ourselves? What act or past deed are we still hanging ourselves for and refusing to forgive? These are some of the questions we need to ask. The old saying “hurt people, hurt people”, exemplifies that people in their own perceived survival will do whatever they need to do to survive. Similar to the idea of a drowning man getting rescued will, in his fear, inadvertently drown his rescuers.

    The act of holding grudges is an act of war against oneself. Anger and sorrow towards another or oneself is carried internally as emotional pain and can only be released through forgiveness. This emotional pain, if prolonged, is scientifically proven to manifest as physical illness. The target of one’s anger or pain (the enemy) is not at the effect of this covert attack and is free from assault. It is only when one forgives themselves for partnering with the ego to create an enemy does the healing begin. Forgiveness of ourselves and others in “survival” depersonalizes the “crime” and frees the self aware practitioner and peace seeker from shame, anger and emotional illness.

     

    10. Acknowledging our False realities.

    Part of being self aware is understanding that everyone shares a different neuro-program based upon their unique life experiences and beliefs. The ego’s need for self validation causes us to impose our thought systems and ideals upon others. Simply stated we look for validation by finding or creating others to be just like us and we rid ourselves of those who refuse to comply. This can cause us to live in a world of false beliefs about others and greatly limit our business and social lives.

    11. Meditation: Freedom from stress, connection to infinite self

    We live in a world of five sense reality where everything physical can be observed from all of these senses. Our consciousness lives in this state of materiality even when we sleep. One of the best practices for stress management is to bring your awareness to a place of non materiality. Meditation is that very place. Meditation has been proved to have many beneficial physiological effects. Meditation lowers blood pressure, lowers oxygen consumption, decreases respiratory rate, increases blood flow and slows the heart rate. It increases exercise tolerance in heart patients, leads to a deeper level of relaxation, reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate and decreases muscle tension (any pain due to tension) and headaches. Meditation is a practice of silence of the mind. In this space of “nothingness” a quiet mind can open up to new solutions to age old personal issues, help redefine old ideas and reshape how one perceives oneself and the world. Without restricting beliefs, all possibilities are open and new information flows in. Many of the world’s most famous contributors have attributed their breakthrough ideas and inventions to visions they encountered during meditation.

    Summary: The practice of the methodologies of self awareness is a difficult practice. It requires the self aware seeker to look at themselves and their external world in a manner that challenges their sacred beliefs. It is only through shifting one's focus from a self centered “I” perspective to a third person “eye” perspective that one can see a reality unveiled from the protective masks of the ego. This experience transforms and releases old ideas, opinions and beliefs into new more expansive, infinite perspectives that empower the seeker to outperform in every facet of their lives. It frees the seeker from fear and limitations and creates a more joyous, stress free, peaceful existence in and out of the 


  • Restorative Ways To Achieve Peace of Mind & Inner Peace

    https://anchor.fm/jennifer-gray2/episodes/Restorative-Ways-To-Achieve-Peace-of-Mind--Inner-Peace-e88grq


  • You are unique, authentic an original

    MUCH RESPECT TO WHOEVER WROTE THIS ARTICLE

    It is a mistake to think time is going. Time is not going. Time is here until the world ends. It is you that is going. You don’t waste time. Time is infinite. You waste yourself. You are finite. It is you that grows old and die. Time doesn’t. So make better use of yourself before you expire. And one of the worst things to do with time is comparing yourself to others. 

    A cow eats grass and gets fat but if dog eats grass, it will die. Never compare yourself with others. Run your race. What works for one person may be that which will kill you. Focus on the gifts and talents God gave you and don’t be envious of the blessings He gave others.

    Both Lion and Shark are professional hunters, BUT:
    A Lion cannot hunt in the Ocean and a Shark cannot hunt in the jungle.
    That a Lion cannot hunt in the ocean doesn't make him useless and that a Shark cannot hunt in the jungle doesn't also make him useless both have their own territory where they can do well.

    If a rose smells better than tomatoes, It doesn't mean the rose can make a better stew. Don't try to compare yourself to others. You also have your own strength, look for it and build on it.  All animals that exist, were in Noah's ark. A snail is one of those animals. If God could wait long enough for snails to enter Noah's ark; His door of grace won't close till you reach your expected position in life. Never look down on yourself, keep looking up. Remember that Broken crayons still colour.
    Keep on pushing, you never can tell how close you are to your goal.

    PLEASE SHARE TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS


  • 8 Warning Signs Your Light Is About To Blow A Fuse

    8 WARNING SIGNS YOUR INNER LIGHT IS ABOUT TO BLOW A FUSE:

    • Don’t have as much energy as you used to

    • Can’t focus for as long as you used to
    • Emotional eating is out of control to deal with the stress of inauthentic feelings
    • Feel grouchy and snap at people easily
    • Not reaching your goals, failing to follow through to the end
    • Repeating mistakes over and over
    • Feeling overwhelmed
    • More emotional or experiencing big swings in your moods
    • Not sleeping well, or not feeling refreshed after a full night’s sleep

    And it has a real-life cost: you burn out and end up relying on sugar and caffeine more and more, to keep the fires burning. You overwork, people-please.

    But the fire burns out, because your dear body is holding on to unexpressed anger and sadness about not being listened to, and your soul is crying out for full expression and acceptance. And there is one, huge, unacknowledged factor that may be at play here:

    Maybe you’re intentionally overeating or eating foods you KNOW drain your energy so that you have a really good reason to take yourself out of the game.

    LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE: HOW WE DIM OUR BRILLIANCE AND HOW TO STOP IT

    There is a part of you that’s scared to stand out, make an impact, to be seen. Dimming your own light with excess weight, hormonal and digestive issues, or other health problems is a secret strategy, hidden at the back of your mind, to stay safely unseen.

    Does that feel true, even a little bit?

    Maybe that idea makes you mad.

    Maybe you’re seeing it for what it is, and are ready to stop.

    If so, you’re not alone.

    We do get angry with ourselves, like we’re locked in a war between our light-craving self, and our frightened light-dimming self.

    Part of you is mad that you are doing yourself harm. Part of you is angry that you’re self-sabotaging. And another part of you is angry at the unjust culture we live in that forces you to squash your light. 

    For now, trust me when I write to you: your light is a reflection of nature, the divine, universal energy that keeps the stars burning and the planets moving.

    Your light is worthy, beautiful, and I see it shining brightly within you, even now.

    Nothing you can do will ever dim that light completely. You can never hide it from those of us who wish to see it, and honor your true strengths and greatness.

    From my light to yours,

     

    xoxo

    Jennifer